Saturday, June 20, 2009

Wedding from Hell

Today is my anniversary. I have been happily married 17 years to this guy.

My usual Saturday morning routine after my husband heads off to his Men's church meetings is to get a cup of coffee and read the news and emails.

When I sat down at the computer I realised the computer was already on. I moved the mouse and a guess what appeared on the screen........ A Love letter from my husband! :-) :-) :-)How sweet!...sniff sniff, weep weep.

But no matter how we celebrate our anniversary, the conversation always turns to ..................."The Wedding from Hell".

It wasn't my wedding but it effected my wedding and everyone who came to my wedding got to sit back and enjoy the spectacle!

First, some background:

My soon to be husband(STBH) and myself are (were) Air Force Officers.

I am living in Salt Lake City, Utah and my STBH is station in Austin, Texas about 40 miles from my parents.

The wedding will be here. Chapel 1 and Randolph Air Force Base.

I had always wanted to get married in this church since I was very little and since everyone was in Texas except the bride, it was very do-able.

Because I was planning this wedding from long distance and since I had an extensive background in deploying airplanes and troops all over the world, this wedding was planned out like a World War II invasion.

I wasn't a bridzella because I knew there was thing I couldn't control. For example I sent my sister to the florist with a fabric swatches and told her to get something she liked. She also narrowed the type of cake and fillings down to 3. She then drove up to Austin from San Antonio with samples in little cake boxes so I could do a taste test when I was in town.

So back to the wedding......... This church only does weddings on Saturday at 10am, 2 pm and 7 pm. When I booked the wedding 11 months in advance, the 7 pm was already booked. So I choose the 2 pm time slot. I had the church from 12:30-4:30. 2PM in June in Texas, I knew it was going to be hot.

The church came with a wedding coordinator who orchestrated all the weddings of that day.

Well, on my wedding day it is extremely hot and muggy. My sister and I drop by the reception place and everything it ready to go. We then stop by my parents and check on them. We then headed to the church.

We show up at the church at 12:30 . The wedding at 10 AM was suppose to be finished and gone by then. When we pull up to the parking lot the place is packed!

My sister dropped me off at the front of the Church and goes to look for a parking place.

I see some people under a live oak tree as I am walking up to the church. I asked are they still taking pictures? They replied the wedding hadn't happen yet!

I continue walking up to the church carrying my dress, I see the wedding coordinator. She was frazzled! I had been talking to her long distance for almost a year and she had always been cool and calm and well composed.

She came running to me and told me there was a small problem with the wedding before mine. I told her lets get inside where I can hang up my dress and lets talk about it.

By then, my sister is there and we walk into the Bride's room. The place is packed and when they see me (the next bride) they go hysterical . I still don't know what is going on.

Soon after that I hear a male voice yelling that he was going to call the security police and get someone removed from the base(well, that is a nice way of saying what he really said).

In walks a full bird Colonel in full military dress dragging his daughter (the bride). She is in a antique wedding dress with a high neck and long sleeve (did I tell you it was hot?)and you could tell she had been crying hard. When she sees me she starts crying harder. I still don't know what is going on.

She leaves the room and the wedding coordinator comes in after a while and asks me if the wedding before mine could still have their wedding while I was getting dress. I said of course.

Well now my STBH and wedding party is starting to arrive. I go find them and explain that the wedding before ours was still there and they will be using the church while I am getting dressed. But I really still don't know what.

When the first wedding party heard the wedding was going to happen half of them left. A lot of bad language was said.

Things calmed down a little and it was just my sister and I and the first bride in the Bride's room. As she was trying to compose herself, she thanked me for letting them still use the church. She they ask me if I had heard what happen.

My sister and I said in unison "No, What happen?"

She then explains.... This is the condensed version........ Right before her wedding was suppose to start someone accused the Best Man with spending the night with the bride. When he refused to even answer that question, the groom's mother in front of the entire church shouts "I knew she was a &*^%.

Everything went down hill from there.

My husband said the priest and the groom were sharing a flask of whiskey.

Well, their wedding started and I got dressed. The wedding coordinator started throwing (football passes)all the make up bags and clothes and stuff from the first wedding into a back hallway.

By this time all my wedding guest, florist and photographers had shown up and thought they were at the wrong wedding. The wedding coordinator sort of explained so they got to sit through two weddings.

My wedding was 40 minutes late and everyone thinks I was a so gracious to let them get married during my time.

But here is the rest of the story, remember I said we had stopped by my parent's place. My mother was born two weeks late and has never caught up. I knew my mother would be late. She actually showed up 20 minutes late and found out she was 30 minutes early! :-)

Also, I know there is a glitch in every wedding. This was my glitch by osmosis.

Everything worked out and we got married. We all went to the reception and had margarittas (which were the same color as the punch so my grandmother didn't know what anyone was drinking) And everyone had a wonderful time talking about " The Wedding from Hell".

And we lived Happily Ever After

But I do wonder how the first bride's Thanksgiving and Christmas went with her mother in law?


  1. I am rolling in heh floor laughing but I guess I shouldn't. That poor bride! I am so lucky that my wedding went so well and that my DDs did too. You made a beautiful bride to a very handsome hubby.

  2. Wow and I thought forgetting my shoes was a glitch! Good on you for being able to be graceful in a "tense" situation.

  3. what a lovely lovely bride you were!
    and amazing how cool you were in that situation..

    i am a beginner smocker(am trying to teach myself) and found you via google,searching for smocker blogs..and am so glad that i did..i will be frequenting here!
    love your work!